notes from writing after Rollins writings

So I have had an itch to scratch for quite some time, an urge or a pressure that’s been continually building, without the satisfaction of relief, building to the point where I am up late nights covered in sweat, scaling the walls looking for some sort of release all with no avail. It’s been a bit as you might have noticed since acquired a new work for my Imaginary Art Collection. It’s not that I haven’t been fantasizing about owning some of the greats, like a Bateman or a Pratt. I have just been uninspired as of late. Maybe my heart wasn’t in it. I was looking at all these great works of art and they just weren’t moving me to commitment. I sort of felt all painted and sculptured out I wanted something new, something that filled my loins full of lust and yet stimulated my mind in a different way. I didn’t know what I was going to do. That was until I opened up my latest email, after months of contact Henry Rollins had finally agreed to an interview about success with me. There were conditions though and one of them was that I bring a pair of shorts. The moment I read that note I knew what work I HAD to acquire. I also knew that there was little or nothing that would stand in my way of interviewing one of my personal heroes. I knew that at no matter what price I had to pay I would succeed, no matter what limit I had to extend myself, I would go to it. I would meet the man whose written work I admired and had so greatly influenced my art practice, as such most could not understand. I would meet him and sell him on the proposition with which I had in mind.

It was agreed that we would meet in between tours in L.A. He had a very specific location with which he wanted to meet and a very early hour in the morning, as he was most likely to have a busy day. So on the given day I arrived at the given address at the specified hour. It was early, the sun was just rising as I got to the address, as I approached I could see it was a twenty four hour gym. I went inside got changed and went into the work out area. There he was warming up.

He says , “Hey kid, thanks for meeting me here this morning so early , I like to work out early cause then nobody really bothers me” he then goes on to state “So I have been thinking about your interview as of late and I thought I’ll give you a shot, on certain conditions. Two of them you have already completed, you’re here and your changed. As for the last condition, it goes like this. We are going to work out together, your gonna do MY Work and If you survive, you’ve got your interview. It’s kind of like a weaning out process, it saves me from having to answer a lot of dumb questions. What you say?”

Now I am no Rollins, I am pretty well mentally conditioned though and I am in a pretty good physical condition too, I figure regardless of what happens I am not going to miss the chance to PUMP IRON with one of my HEROES. I tell him I’m in. This is one of my greatest moments of my life. He gives me a couple of moments to warm up.

We start, in order to not have the flow broken there are two guys helping us put our weights on. The guy who is working with me is also serving as a spot for me, making calculation and adjusting so I can do the same reps with the same intensity as Rollins. Rollins just starts firing out the reps and calling out the next exercises. Let’s get this straight this isn’t x90p with some guy making cute Forest Gump references. This Henry Rollins and he’s turning up the Motorhead and telling you to “Do it” . He doesn’t wanna here you lie about, he wants you to do it, he doesn’t want hear you talk about he just wants you to Do it, Do It Do it. And the way I see it I want him to see I am doing it well. Today is a “light day”, it’s an all body work out and we are going hard. One exercise after another and just as I think one is about to stop, another starts. My body expels more energy than I knew it had. Whenever I think I can’t do another rep he asks for another and makes it hurt. It is the most intense fifty eight minutes of my life then finally it ends. I am drenched in sweat, my bodily fluids are depleted, my mind is in another universe and I have no control over my body I am like a wet noodle, and yet I have never felt so alive.

Henry sits up looks at me and smiles he says ”You did good kid, you got your interview meet me back at my place we will have breakfast and a chat”. Although I can barely stand, a feeling of victory glows within me though.

I take shower get changed and drive to Rollins place. It’s a lot like what one might expect, from a successful man who accomplished things on his terms. It’s big, it’s not grandiose though, the lawn is well manicured, there is no exuberant garden though, he doesn’t have tiger tied to a chain or anything like, it’s just a very nice clean, well thought out house with walls and walls of records. As we stroll through he tells me he’s got original LP’s that date all the way back to the early days of blues and Jazz even some traditional American folk recordings on 78. As a collector I am in awe of his phenomenal collection.

As we sit down for breakfast and start to talk. I ask him questions about his writing and his success as I have been following his career for a very long time. Some of it I am asking for my audience, some of it I know and need to hear from his own words for clarification. We talk about some of his early works, his influences. We also get into things we have in common such as musical likes and world views. At some moments I find it super hard to believe I am sitting here with this music Icon and modern literary great. As our conversation started to come to a close I think now is the time to make my offer.
In a casual kind of way I asked him, ”So what do you do with all your old journals and travel diaries.”
He pointed to a shelf and said they are over there. I asked if I could take a look, he said for sure. He even gave me a little bookself tour. He said mostly now days he writes on computer, books from back in the day though were written on note books. He showed me a self of about a hundred journals. They were all there,” Get in the Van,””See A Grown Man Cry”, “Bang” all of the originals. He said some of the work from some of the books had yet to be published.
I asked,” Have you ever thought about selling any of these manuscripts, or has anyone ever approached you about buying one”
He said” I never really thought about selling them some guy once offered me about twenty thousand dollars for one once though. He couldn’t understand what these where worth to me, as these are a huge part of my life”,
I told him “that somehow, some way I had to own one of these works for my collection”. I explained that it wasn’t just to own the original writings of a great modern writer whose work I hold comparable to that of Nietzsche, Carl Jung, Ayn Rand, or Charles Bukowski, but it was because it speaks of humanity in our time and from our experience, urban and guttural, visceral. Everything I had experienced in my life. It was also that I had to own the work of man whose work had influenced my work so.
He asked me what I meant. I said Automatic Word Drawing was created from taking the process of journaling and automatic line drawing and combing them together. I then went on to explain that earlier in my career I worked with Automatic Line Drawing, a process where one creates an image with one line and no intent. At that time I also kept a regular written journal. I had since I was about nineteen and read “Black Coffee Blues”. At one point I thought it would be more efficient and time saving if I was to utilize both processes at once in order to create. So I just started writing my thoughts with no particular order or structure on a page in a sketchbook. A few years later I found my first image and that was the birth of Automatic Word Drawing. I then clearly stated that I had to own one of these works and offered him two hundred thousand dollars.
He said again that it wasn’t really about the money “it’s more about the sentimentality”
I replied that I clearly understood, but none the less I had to up the ante a little and see what would happen, I offered him a two hundred and fifty thousand dollars and the very first Automatic Word Drawing ever created.
He said “that sounds pretty serious, I could never take your first word drawing though, I tell you what as you have made me such a fine offer and I can see how much this work means to you, and that this is not just about money. So let’s say this, Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars as we both can understand what this creative thought is worth and a word drawing of your choice.
I said “done deal”, pulled out the two hundred and fifty thousand, said I would send the image shortly. He said he looked forward to it and told me to pick a book. I picked up one of the journals used to create Black Coffee Blues and opened it. I begun to study the genius that lay inside. I thanked him very much for his time. I told him to contact me the next time he was up round my way. I hopped in my car pulled out his driveway and turned up the greatest Rollins album of all times “Turned On” as I sailed down La Cienega Blvd on my way to the airport. Rollins serenaded me with his musings of isolation and loneliness, I thought about what a great man I had just and how I wished that every moment of everyday could be just like this.